8/3/14

I'm going to skip the crap and go straight to the heart of the matter--at about 9 AM the next day, August 2nd, I found myself standing on a platform on the Azeri border wearing my pajama shorts, a t-shirt, shoes, and socks with my 3 pieces of luggage surrounding me. The only other people there were a taxi driver, called after I tried to do my best "but I won't know where to go/what to do", and a soldier. This would be a hilarious picture, surely, but not one I would have the chance to get. I took a long last glance at the train as I walked across this deserted platform in some armpit town in this boondocks region of this unheralded country. Surely that family who I had so well befriended was now watching. Though I had about 3 seconds to explain that it was a stupid mistake on my part, I doubt that tempered the humiliation much. I got in the taxi (a Zhiguli) and we took off through the countryside, where people herded sheep on the shoulder and left their horses tied up on the side of the road. We had to drive around piles of crap in the middle of the lane. A classic experience, I guess. Anyway, without going into too much detail: the Baku-Tbilisi train crosses into Georgia at 9 in the morning, AND YOUR VISA MUST APPLY FOR THAT DAY AS WELL. I thought I could get away with it expiring the day earlier because I was on my way out, and clearly had no intent to  leave the train. I was wrong, and it was a $500/5 hour mistake. I did make it to Tbilisi, which was a beautiful city, though I could have given the Azeri cab driver who drove me from the border directions myself since he was clueless. Sometimes with taxi drivers it is better to just tell them yourselves since otherwise they'll just drive over town asking random people for vague directions, and there are often multiple places with the same name (Caspian Hotel) or similar names or they'll put you at the wrong end of a street or a different street with a similar name. Anyway, I made it, and spent most of my time just unwinding and calming down. The people at Hostel Home 12 were very nice and actually showed me personally where the metro was and were overall super helpful. I got platskart tickets and spent the rest of the afternoon getting a hold on my finances and sitting in a park to relax (there was a statue of Reagan there--if they like Americans this much, I'm going to like them). 

I got on the train to Yerevan that night--without having changed, because why bother, platskart is smelly and hot and I might as well save a pair of clothes to wear--my next place had wash. I met some slovakian backpackers and after talking for a while I tried to get a quick nap in before the border. Oh, and I left my passport sitting on my bunk when I changed, and when I came back the provodnik and my compartment mates were like "don't do that" so that was awkward. We hit the border about 45 minutes later and  I got woken up and immediately went to follow the train personnel; I didn't bother to put on any proper clothes so I was there again in my shoes, socks, pajama shorts, and the same, now fairly dank, t-shirt. The train stopped, and we got off--me and this Japanese dude. Apparently the EU people either didn't need visas or they had already gotten them. The process was super simple and  quick and  we were back on the  train before too long.  I took a picture of me in my bunk to celebrate this momentous occasion of not being threatened with the option of paying fines or getting deported. Also, as you can see the window openings are generous, which would have been awesome if I was opposite the direction of travel. As it were, I got a few chances to stick my head out the window for cool fresh air and whatever asbestos-laced radioactive dust the train kicked up. FYI: visas, which are made for you on site, are $8--not $7 like they say online. They of course take greenbacks and there are exchange places all over Tbilisi.

The unbridled joy of not being thrown off the train

I got up at 6:30, and  got on my still-nasty jeans and sat around waiting to arrive. Someone had pulled the vinyl curtain over the window during the night, I had noticed, and then compounded their rudeness with idiocy by pulling it so far down I couldn't get it back over the hinged section that was hanging down. Of course all the interesting infrastructure was on that side. I took a vacant seat on the other and watched the sun rise over the mountains. We got to the station and after getting a cab to the hostel--I tried really hard to argue this dude and saved like $2.50 in the end but it turned out it was a $10 ride so that means something, right? I got to the hostel and realized I was too early by a mile for check in and so there were no rooms, so I sat in the common area and didn't take a nap and ate free breakfast and surfed the olde internet. Then, I went out exploring. Yerevan is interesting in that it is not new oil wealth or extremely old like Baku, or extremely old and unique like Tbilisi--it basically has the feel of a mid-sized Soviet city that has only seen minor renovation. That being said, it's got a lot of great culture, and I got to see a pile of interesting architechture. The monument to 50 Years of Soviet Armenia was, true to form, decaying, and the park next to it was haired over as promised in the lonely planet. That's why Yerevan reminded me of a lot of Soviet cities--relatively new stuff that was designed for some grand purpose was falling apart, it's like the redneck front yard of urban development. The stuff was never good to start with and ages worse. Although it was kind of a cool half-ruined, half-active area. The war museum was cool and had some great party-line verbage, something like "Of aggress the attack did come, unprovoked. This defense was possible only with weapons in hand. Many squad volunteers of motherland did defend, though met defeat with enemy's superior firepower. Here the 12 martyrs of fighting." I also ran into the random slovakians again. Of note: the war museum is housed in the base of a statue called "Mother Armenia", who looks like she is ready to deliver a sound smiting upon various and sundry enemies with her giant stone sword.

Looks like she could hold her own in a game of Mortal Kombat or something

After that I hiked back down the major staircase and asked some soldier who was walking to take my picture; he obliged and I got a smile out of him. A lot of people make a big deal out of not acting like a tourist, and at times I find this advantageous but at other times who cares because it's really about doing what you want. It's your vacation, and as long as you're not being rude/getting in the way it's fine. After that, I rode the metro, which is really crappy here--there is a single not-well-planned line and their traffic levels merit 2 cars every 5 minutes on platforms built for full-length (8?) trains. So been there done that. You don't get metro cards, you get little plastic chips. Also, word to the wise on Armenian money: prepare yourself for a lot of change. My wallet is literally starting to burst now between the georgian lari and armenian drams and the writing looks so similar I have trouble distinguishing them. Best to prepare yourself for mad coinage somehow; get a bigger wallet maybe. And keep your currencies separate (could be awkward if I tried to pay with Azeri manat here…if you haven't figured it out the two countries are at each other's throats half the time and Armenia occupies about 16% of Azerbaijan). I remember loads of change being a problem in Russia as well. Also it's good to have change because you look like a tool (as I already have) trying to buy a 350 dram soda with a 20000 note. Prices are not particularly cheap or great here--sit down dinner of just under $10, and a $4.80 thing of brandy--which tasted slightly of fruit somehow and tickled the sides of my tongue. We're not in Kentucky anymore. Also worth noting--the service at restaurants is not like America. Once  they've gotten your order/delivered your food, waiters don't come to you. If you need anything, make eye contact and wait until they acknowledge. This should save you from sitting in an outdoor café while a rainstorm bears down because you're not sure if the guy is bringing a beer or not (he wasn't--this was the one spot I think his Russian may have been worse than mine). Anyway, it's all good and I'm back in the hostel. Looks like a full day tomorrow. Oh, and I've showered (at 6 PM) and am wearing fresh clothes, so that's all good now.  

Yerevan

Thanks random soldier guy

Feel more art.